spring... it's when madness begins

So I don't know exactly what happens in spring time but it makes everyone go crazy. All of a sudden it turns into dating season and you can't turn a corner without seeing someone you know getting engaged. Everyone else who doesn't already have a lucky someone is on the prowl. Also, swimsuit season is quickly approaching and everyone and their mom is at the gym working on that bikini bod. For me the exact opposite happens. Something about spring inspires a great laziness in me. All of the motivation I had to do well in school during the fall, is replaced by the motivation to do nothing but lay around outside and read or sleep. I love love love listening to the birds singing. On saturday morning, I seriously just sat on the couch listening to them for about 20 minutes. I probably love it so much because every Disney Princess had a special relationship with birds.

the fruits of student labor

So it has been really weird because this semester I don't get test anxiety before I go take the test, I get it when I am about to look at my grade. My heart starts pounding and I immediately feel like I need to throw up.(This used to happen before my tests last semester, which was kind of awesome because my anxiety attacks pretty much eliminated my need for caffeine. Sadly, they have gone away pre-test) So, I just finished my 5th test within the last six days which means that I am about to go through the special torture of waiting and then looking at my grades. Since this a blog, and you can't see me I will just explain my reactions in way more detail than you would care to know:

A - One of the BEST feelings in the world. I usually smile for a good ten minutes and then I am compelled to tell someone, so they can share in my glory.

B - My thought when I see a B is "it could be worse" and slight disappointment.

C - This letter usually fills me with regret over either 1) not spending enough time studying or 2) spending so much time studying when I was obviously doomed to fail anyway.

D - I wish that I could say that I have never ever seen one of these before. I think I have had two since college started. Any time I see this ugly little half circle that is ironically used for a really smily face, I contemplate both dropping out of college and dying from stupidity.

F - I honestly think my heart would stop beating if this would ever appear on one of my papers and/or tests.


Sometimes I have this compelling need to run. I don't mean like go for a jog, I mean like run as hard and as fast and as long as I physically can until something inside of me breaks and I have to stop. The weather keeps stopping me from this run. I have tried to do it inside on a treadmill or elliptical but it is definitely not the same. Today the elliptical machine kept flashing MAX SPEED and making me slow down. When you run outside there is nothing that tells you to stop or that you are going to fast. I don't know this for sure, but I am pretty sure speed limits don't apply to runners. Another thing that keeps holding me back is timing. More often than not, I am overcome with the desperate need to run sometime between midnight and two in the morning, which of course is night time and when all the scary people come out. So I hope the weather clears up soon, because I am ready to run.