If I really...

For a couple of weeks now I have been playing this game with myself where when I come across a situation I think "If I REALLY loved/trusted/believed God what would I do?" Now don't get me wrong, I love God. Or I at least desperately want to. But I am talking about if I was really over the top like crazy in love kind of thing. Basically, it keeps coming back to the same answer each time: I would obey God's word. Wholeheartedly obey. No secret part of me crying out to do my own things and go my own way. I have to die to my flesh.  The other thing is that I have to know God's word. Like know it so well, that somehow [through God working MIGHTILY in my heart, that's how] it becomes instinct to obey instead of to sin.

Tonight at church, our pastor challenged us to examine the areas of our life where we don't trust God. My first thought was "uhhhmmm... probably all of them." That's not exactly true, because God has driven some things into my extremely hard head. But I started thinking of all the times I had played my little game "If I REALLY..." and then didn't follow with what I thought someone that REALLY trusted God would do.

It's no coincidence that this verse was in my QT this week.

Psalm 62: 8
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.

If I REALLY trusted in God, I would pour out my heart before him at all times. In every season. God would be my refuge. Not my friends. Not alone time. Not working out. God would be my refuge.