Because God is Love.

There is nothing like a combination of night terrors and a roommate on vacation to make a person, feel utterly and completely alone. Even as I am writing this my heart feels weirdly tight and is beating too fast and I could easily throw up or cry. But even when Sarah is here I still have been irrationally fearful. So I have been coping by waiting until two or three when I am so exhausted I can barely even move, to go up to bed and then read for a while.. And then after about ten minutes I fall asleep with the light on. About 545 when the sun rises, I get out of bed and turn off the light because now that the sun is up, things are suddenly much safer. And then I can sleep until I need to get up for work. This has been my routine for the past couple of weeks. Yesterday I was watching a Hillsong video on youtube for one of my favorite songs, You'll Come, and one of the singers read the inspiration for the song in Hosea 6.

Hosea 6:1-3
"Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us;, that we may live in his presence. Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun will rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth."

The lyrics from the song are "As surely as the sun will rise, you'll come to us, as certain as the dawn appears". I know how it feels to sit there and wait for morning. To pray that I will live to see the sun rise again. As surely as the sun will rise, He will come to me. How incredible is it that God is using my irrational fear, to teach me about his faithfulness. To show me that because the sun will rise, I can trust Him.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Posted in: on Sunday, June 21, 2009 at at 9:24 PM 0 comments    

So apparently I am to the age where people decide I need a significant other. It's really funny to me, because I am perfectly happy being single right now. I love having an undivided heart so I can give more of my attention to God! This has been such a great time of learning to trust Him and his plan. It's so great to see how God has changed me because before this past year at college, I would have been feeling the same way, like I need to be dating someone. So as a youth intern we are leading bible studies for the junior high and senior high students, and our first talk is in two weeks and it is about who God is to us and so as I was just meditating on that I just realized how powerful that is. If I believe God is who He says He is: omnipotent, all-knowing, love, truth, just, merciful; then I can trust his plan for my life, whether that includes a special someone or not. That is so freeing! I don't have to worry about my life, because I know the God of the universe loves me and knows what is best for my life.
I love being here. I love my job. I love these students. I love the people I work with. I am already sad that I am going to have to leave at the end of the summer.

Posted in: on Saturday, June 13, 2009 at at 10:30 AM 0 comments